Grëgenshöwzen

by Greg

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1.
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02:59
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03:02
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02:56

credits

released July 28, 2015

Written and performed by Greg except where noted below. ©2015.
All songs rendered using iOS apps for iPhone and iPad.
Track 2 written by Greg and Gabi Thompson.
Track 6 written by Greg, Raymond Thompson, and Anthony Touarti.

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Track Name: Romantic Comedy
I’m the main character in a romantic comedy.
I do and say such stupid things for the first part of the movie.
And I thought you were my love interest.
I was wrong – you’re not. You’re just a plot device.

I see you everywhere. You’re even on the poster.
And when I found someone new, I messed it up and told her.
I overplayed my hand. And now she’s gone. She ain’t coming back.
And you’re still here but I won’t kid myself. To you I’m just a plot device.

I try on hats and suits and scarves in a montage.
My friends give me the thumbs up when I get it right.
The audience cheers me on. They’re hoping that I find someone
‘cause no one likes a movie where the hero ends up alone.

I’m the main character in a romantic comedy.
I’m just a plot device to you.
I hope I see you in part II.
Track Name: Egoberto
You went to the pound and got yourself a dog.
You named him Egoberto and bought him a rubber frog.
Right away he knew just how to make you feel loved.
He waited by the door all day for you.

Always kisses when you get home.

You and Egoberto grew. Found comfort and routine.
And his devotion never waned.
And as the years went by, you found such solace in his eyes.
He waited by the door all day to see you smile.

Always kisses when you get home.

You knew there’d never be a man whose love was so complete.
Good thing Egoberto outlived you.

Always kisses when you get home.
Track Name: Tell Me Something
Where did you go and how did you get there?

If two trains depart from the same station,
would they be headed to the same destination?
If our two trains depart same time, same station,
would we be headed to the same destination?

Where did you go and how did you get there?
Where did you go? Can I get there?
Track Name: Magnet
I know a girl who’s got it – whatever it is.
That thing that makes the boys’ hearts go flap, flop, flip.
They snap to attention when she goes by.
Like bugs around a lamp in the night.

She’s a magnet for weirdos.
They gather like honeybees.
But what does that make me?

They press, they clamor, and they shove their way up front.
They collapse into a pile when she drops her coffee cup.
It’s a sight to see. Believe me when I say …

She’s a magnet for weirdos.
You can ask the crazies and freaks.
But what does that make me?

She’s a magnet for weirdos.
It’s less glamorous than you’d think.
But what does that make me?
I’m a weirdo.
Track Name: Put This Lotion on Me
I know a girl who likes to go to the beach
and she says, “Put this lotion on me.”
I know a girl who likes to go to the beach
and she says, “Catch this Frisbee.”

I know a girl who makes me weak in the knees
when she says, “Put this lotion on me.”
I know a girl who likes to smoke when she drinks.
She never buys her own.

I know a girl who likes to drink Hennessey
and she says, “Make it stiff for me.”
I know a girl who smiles to get free drinks.
She never buys her own.

I don’t know where the sun shines and it shows.

I know a girl who likes to go to the beach
and she says, “Put this lotion on me.”
I know a girl who makes me weak in the knees
when she says, “Put this lotion on me.”
She says, “Put this lotion on me.”
Track Name: After the Bombs
She’s walking down the beach.
She combs her hair with a fish bone.
Then she lights a cigarette
on a burning body.

Hey. She’s gonna light her hair on fire.
It’s scary but I kind of like her.
Let’s see which way she goes.

She makes her way among the corpses
that line the side streets.
She’s got a lunch box made of a head
and a necklace of big toes.
I watch her climb through a window
to meet with other survivors.
And I hear her tell them she’s seen me stalking –
she saw me creeping her for miles and miles.

I say, “Hey. She almost lit her hair on fire.
“It was scary and I kind of like her.
“I’m just glad she’s all right.”

I didn’t run away.
But it wouldn’t have mattered.
Before I could turn around,
her goons held me down.
She crouched over me. Asked me what was my problem.
But I couldn’t answer. Next thing I know she’s
punching the banana.

I say, “Wait. You almost lit your hair on fire.
“You’re scary but I kind of like you.
“Let’s take a walk sometime?”

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