Clever Girl

by Greg

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credits

released May 1, 2012

All songs written, performed, and produced by Greg.

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Greg Cleveland, Ohio

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Track Name: If I Had a Job I'd Spend All My Money on You
I was walking on a hot summer night.
The kind of night that makes girls dress just right.
A pretty young thing came strolling my way.
So I stopped her. And this is what I say I said.

“If I had a job I’d spend all my money on you.
“And if I had a car I’d take you to the zoo.
“I’d buy you cotton candy and we could watch the lions do
“what I wanna do when we get home from the zoo.”

Let’s face it. She wasn’t impressed.
She shouldered past me, muttering under her breath,
“You’re just a dirty old man and I don’t have time for this.”
I said, “Honey. Maybe you didn’t hear me say:”

“If I had a job I’d spend all my money on you.
“And if I had a car I’d take you to the zoo.
“I’d buy you cotton candy and we could watch the lions do
“what I wanna do when we get home from the zoo.”

Then she turned around and looked me in the eye
and she said, “What’s your problem?”
I said, “Honey, I just want to show you a good time.”
And she said, “Fine. There’s something you can do for me.”
And I said, “Okay. Call your shot, girl. It’s your special day.”

So here’s what she said:
“You should get a job. It’s the right thing to do.
“And when you get a car you can take yourself to the zoo,
“find a monkey, and watch him do to himself what you
“can go and do when you get home from the zoo.”
Track Name: I'm Not Gonna Waste a Song on You
I’ve got to hand it to you – you did a number on me.
And I feel so stupid now for what I let you do to me.
But now it’s over. And there ain’t no more to say.
Ordinarily, I’d find the words and sing them while I play.

But I’m not gonna waste a song on you.
I’m not gonna tell you that you made me blue.
I’m not gonna waste a song on you.
Gonna throw this song out like a worn out pair of shoes.

I should have taken the time to write a song about your eyes.
But all I’m left with now is thinking about all your lies.
Eyes and lies is such an obvious rhyme.
But anything better would be a waste of my time.

But I’m not gonna waste a song on you.
I’m not gonna tell you that you made me blue.
I’m not gonna waste a song on you.
And when I’m finished, there’s not a single word that I’ll redo.

Let’s don’t redo me and you.

And I’m not gonna waste a song on you.
I’m not gonna tell you that you made me blue.
I’m not gonna waste a song on you.
And by the time you hear this, I’ll have moved on to someone new.
Track Name: One in a Million
When I met you I thought you were the only one for me.
And I figured that made you the one in a million one for me.
But as time went by I knew what that means.

If you’re one in a million all that really means is that there are thousands just like you.

They say we’re special just like diamonds – that we’re each and all unique.
But if all of that were true, how come they’ve all been like you?
And if all of that were true, why do you treat me like this too?

If you’re one in a million all that really means is that there are thousands just like you.
Track Name: It's a Good Thing You're Gone
I’m getting kind of sick of girls with lower back tattoos.
And I’m getting kind of sick of girls who tell me what their horoscope says.
It’s a good thing you’re gone ‘cause I was getting sick of you.

I’m getting kind of sick of girls who always say, “Woo-hoo!”
And I’m getting kind of sick of girls who dress like they’re seventeen.
It’s a good thing you’re gone ‘cause I was getting sick of you.

I’m getting kind of sick of girls who bum all my cigarettes.
And I’m getting kind of sick of girls who are looking for reasons to get upset.
It’s a good thing you’re gone ‘cause I was getting sick of you.

I’m getting kind of sick of girls who con guys into buying shots.
And I’m getting kind of sick of girls who talk more shit than they ought.
It’s a good thing you’re gone ‘cause I was getting sick of you.

I’m getting kind of sick of girls with super-suspicious minds.
And I’m getting kind of sick of girls who don’t know when to be refined.
It’s a good thing you’re gone ‘cause I was getting sick of you.
Track Name: Dirty
You’re the type of girl who makes me want to disinfect
all the flat surfaces in my house that touch your back.
I know I’m not your first and I sure won’t be the last.
Why don’t we stop talking before the night has passed?

Because you’re dirty in the perfect way.

Come here. Sit by me. I promise I’ll show you everything.
Keep your hands and feet inside. Hang on tight, girl. Enjoy the ride.
You know you’re not my girl and we sure won’t be friends.
Baby, let’s stop talking. Save your questions ‘til the end.

Let’s get dirty in the perfect way.

You know you’re not my first and you sure won’t be the last.
But give me something to remember you by when I’m thinking about the past.

Because you’re dirty in the perfect way.
Track Name: Good for You
You were sitting at the bar with your nose stuck in The Bell Jar.
And I should have known, right then and there, what I was in for.
Girls like you have done exactly this to me before.

I don’t know why I believed you
when you told me that you’d never
treat me like I should have known you’d.
Good for you I'm not that clever.

Should have spotted all the signs that you are out of your entire mind.
You’d think that by now I’d be tough to bluff.
But it’s my fault. And you know? I’m fucked up.

I don’t know why I believed you
when you told me that you’d never
treat me like I should have known you’d.
Good for you I'm not that clever.

But I believed you.
Track Name: A Cajun Bloody Mary and New Orleans Deviled Eggs
I woke up on a Sunday after passing out Friday night.
And I feel like my brain and skull got in a fight.
Staring at the ceiling with my eyes too dry to blink.
I could use some water but I can’t make it to the sink.

A Cajun Bloody Mary and New Orleans deviled eggs
is just what I need to get myself out of bed.
A Cajun Bloody Mary and New Orleans deviled eggs
is just the thing to shake the cobwebs from my head.

I’ve got a lot of questions but I’m not sure who to ask.
The only friends I remember are a shot glass and a flask.
How did this happen? How’d my toenails get so pink?
I’ll get some answers once I drag myself to Sugar Freak for …

A Cajun Bloody Mary and New Orleans deviled eggs
is just what I need to get myself out of bed.
A Cajun Bloody Mary and New Orleans deviled eggs
is just the thing to shake the cobwebs from my head.
Track Name: Let's Start a Life Together
Let’s face it. We’re not in love.
I don’t know if we ever were.
But it’s comfy. And it’s easy.
We don’t have to try too hard.

Maybe this is as good as we’ll get.
There may not be much more to expect.

Baby, it’s time we get married.
We don’t have to be happy.
We’ll get settled and start a family.
Let’s don’t get too sappy.

It’s five years later and we never talk.
We’re both living a thousand lies.
I step out on you and you do the same.
We don’t even try to hide it.

Let’s get drunk and fight in front of our kids.

There’s no reason not to stay married.
We’re already unhappy.
I’d agree that we should split,
but we’ll never be happy.

You and me together forever.
And always unhappy.
Side by side, and staring ahead.
And never happy.
Track Name: What's He Got That I Don't?
It was really nice to see you the other night.
I wish we’d had more time to catch up.
And though I smiled when I shook your new guy’s hand,
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t die.

He certainly seems nice enough.
And I’m sure he treats you well.
But I look at him. And I look at me.
And you know? I just can’t tell.

Baby, forgive me. I don’t mean to be rude.
But what’s he got that I don’t other than you?

You know? I’m not super surprised.
I never thought you’d stay alone.
But he’s not at all a better me.
At least not better enough for you.

Baby, forgive me. I don’t mean to be rude.
But what’s he got that I don’t other than you?

The more I think about it all, the less sense it makes.
It’s not that I think you’re wrong.
Or that you’ve made a big mistake.
But how is this better than what we had?
It seems like you gave up.
And settled instead.

Baby, forgive me. I don’t mean to be rude.
But what’s he got that I don’t other than you?
Track Name: When I'm with You
When I’m with you I feel like I could dead lift a car.
And when I hear your voice I feel like I could run really far,
find you in a crowd, and take you by the hand.
I’d do whatever it takes – whatever I had to do to be with you.

When I’m with you I investigate strange noises in the dark.
And if I had to, I’d swim us both to safety from a shark.
I’m smarter and more charming. My jokes are always funny.
And I am better looking when I’m with you.

When I’m with you, I don’t notice any other girls.
It doesn’t matter where we are. Everything’s a blur.
I would drive all night or jump out of a plane.
I’d do whatever it takes – whatever I had to do to be with you.

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